Conflict Resolution - Jeff Swanson
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    • Josh Nisley
      Aug 1, 2022
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      Lots of personal stories. Not sure how much of this is okay on a public platform.
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      • Lucas Hilty
        Aug 1, 2022
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        Should we ask him this week?
      • Lucas Hilty
        Aug 2, 2022
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        It would be nice to cut out the beginning "um"
        • Lucas Hilty
          Aug 2, 2022
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          I like this so far...
          • Lucas Hilty
            Aug 2, 2022
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            Could we cut the irrelevant reference to remaining time?
            • Lucas Hilty
              Aug 2, 2022
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              A few seconds of black screen
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              Classroom confrontations.

              So I have a few things to say about

              that to help you when it happens,
              if it ever happens.

              So a long time ago I had a teacher
              that replaced a very popular teacher,

              and the parents didn't like him
              and students didn't like him.

              And I thought he was pretty good and I
              kind of felt bad for the whole thing.

              So one day we were in class and one
              student, who was pretty naughty,

              he said something really rude to the said
              teacher that they didn't like.

              And so the teacher said in front of his

              class, said, "Oh, really, you're going
              to say that to me in front of class?

              Why don't you tell the students
              what you did to me last night?"

              And I think he thought they would say what
              they did and gain all the students'

              sympathy and, don't laugh at this,
              but he said, "Okay,

              I went up to our teacher's front door
              and I put paper bags full of manure on his

              front door step and lit them,
              and he came out and stepped on them."

              It does sound funny.

              That man walked out of that room
              and I never saw him again.

              I wonder if he went out and cried.

              I never saw him again.

              I looked him up. I tried to find
              him on the internet once.

              I still feel so bad.

              So, shouldn't have happened.
              Funny prank?

              Yeah, sort of.

              I mean, that's horrible.

              But just think, he shouldn't have said,
              "Why don't you tell them what they did?"

              Students thought it was funny.

              I think he thought they'd see
              what a rude person this was.

              So, I have another friend and he was

              in class one day, he's a teacher, and a student stood up,

              I think it was during a test, and
              he made a gesture to the teacher, and then

              he said a rude saying that went
              along with the gesture.

              And my teacher friend said, "Okay,
              sit back down and finish your test."

              What do you think the guy did?

              He sat back down and finished the test.

              Situation is done.

              It probably got readdressed.

              Do you see the difference?

              Oh,

              honestly, I mean, the guy thought he was
              going to completely mentally disturb

              the teacher because he said that

              with this gesture and the teacher just said,

              "Sit down and do your work."

              So the guy was like, "Okay."

              Just think how to defuse

              and just always remember:

              "You're in trouble.

              Try not to think about it.

              We'll talk about it after school, okay?"

              I want you to think so hard about this.

              This affects people's lives, and God did it
              first,

              so it must work for us, all right?

              God made this technique up.

              So Cain's naughty.
              All right?

              And so God needs to confront
              him like a teacher.

              Okay?

              So here's what's said: "But unto Cain
              and to his offering he (God) had not respect.

              And Cain was very wroth
              and his countenance fell.

              And the Lord said unto Cain,

              question marks, 'Why art thou wroth
              and why is thy countenance fallen?'"

              He asked him a question.

              "If thou doest well,

              shalt thou not be accepted,
              and if thou doest not well,

              sin lieth at the door,
              and unto this shall be his desire,

              and thou shalt rule over him." Which we
              understand that means sin wants you.

              You got to rule over him.
              What did God do?

              He did not say, "You are bad
              and you're doing something wrong."

              He said, "Why is your countenance fallen?"

              I beg you all.

              When you think something's going on,
              if somebody says something in front

              of the whole class,
              you can address that directly.

              If you think a student has a bad attitude,
              if you've heard bad things the students

              are doing, if somebody else has told you
              things that that student is doing,

              if you've seen a student look at you weird
              and give you body language,

              you need to go up to that student and say,
              "This is what I think I see.

              It looks like you have a bad attitude."

              Do not say, "You have a bad
              attitude and you need to stop it.

              This is what you're doing."

              That really affects
              people when you do that.

              And that's a hard one to learn,

              because you see and that gives
              the students three choices.

              They can lie and say, "I'm not doing that,"

              when they are. They can say,
              "I am doing that, and I'm so sorry."

              Or they can say, "I'm not doing it.
              It's the truth.

              I didn't mean to.
              I didn't even know what I was doing."

              I had a student, a girl student, this last year,

              and she would sit there and choir,
              and I know that she likes to sing,

              I thought, and she gave me this
              really odd look, and she's a good singer.

              So I finally said, "You look in choir like

              you hate singing and don't
              want to participate."

              And she said, "Am I scowling?"

              And in my countenance I was
              like [sigh of relief], "You are scowling."

              And she said, "I'm so sorry; I scowl.

              I really enjoy singing."

              But see, it looked so much—all
              the proof was there against her.

              It looked like she had
              a horrible attitude.

              And so I beg you, it really affects people
              when you tell them what they think.

              The Lord knows what they think.
              Ask them a question.

              If they lie, it's between
              them and God at that point.

              Ask people, say, "This is what I'm seeing.
              Am I seeing it right?

              Or is there something else?"

              If God wants to do that with Cain
              and says, "Why is this happening?

              Why is your countenance fallen?"
              That's awesome.

              Great teaching from our Lord.

              Learn how to apologize to children.

              Once I had a student,
              he's older now, I'm gonna say his name.

              I saw him.

              He's a big man—big man with a cowboy hat.

              He's [unclear] a Mennonite school.

              And his name is Winston.

              And we started seeing in our

              textbooks "Winston" was written.

              You're not allowed to write in textbooks.

              Winston.
              It was spelled wrong.

              We figured out, obviously,
              it's him, he's writing his book.

              It's his name kind of misspelled.
              He'd do that.

              And he had some things to deal with.

              He was a first grader.

              And so we finally told his dad, and his
              dad said, "I will take care of that."

              And so I'm pretty sure Winston
              got spanked pretty good.

              And Winston never said anything to me.

              I think it was Deana that found out,

              I don't know how she did it,

              but another little girl named Natalie,
              she found out that Natalie had been

              writing Winston's name in these textbooks,
              and Winston got all the rap.

              And I'm pretty sure,
              again, Winston got spanked.

              And so, I was 40 years old,

              and Winston's six or seven in the first grade,
              and I go up and I said, "Winston,

              you remember the whole thing
              with you writing and you got in trouble?"

              And he said, "Yeah."

              And I said,
              "I found out that we were wrong."

              And I said, "I'm so sorry."

              I said, "You got in trouble."

              And Winston, he looked up at me, and he had

              this smile frown,
              and he said, he said, "It's over.

              It's good.
              We're done."

              And so there's so many ways a teacher
              could have gone around that without just

              saying to this kid,
              "I screwed up, and I'm wrong."

              When you offend a child—I would, I don't mean—

              I know we're supposed to forgive
              somebody and it's over.

              I'd tell them you're sorry and go back

              another time and just say,
              "I just want you to know I'm really sorry."

              Sometimes we do the, "I'm sorry, I'll try to do better,

              and that means, "I'm sorry. We're done.
              We're not going to touch it again."

              I'm not sorry.

              I'll try to do better.

              I'm so sorry I hurt your feelings,

              and I am so sorry, and I don't
              want that to affect you.

              I would go back and check and make sure

              that they realize that teacher
              messed up. So, children forgive.