those who have been abused tend to abuse one of the ways in which refined desires to stop that cycle

of sexual abuse through forming and creating restorative relationships by providing mentorship services styling services and court support

advocacy services The heartbeat of refined is the love and compassion that we show a survivor that each

individual survivor is unique and their cherished and loved just like we are one of the most

beautiful um memories I have of refined as they came in and they washed the women's feet They couldn't imagine

why these complete strangers were coming in and washing their feet and praying over them I think that's

just a perfect example of who refined is they are willing to be the hands and feet of jesus

that as women would transition through programs graduate programs there would be triggers for them

if they had to testify in court against their pimp or perpetrator that was a trigger for

them and we desired to bridge that gap we took them to lunch shopping we engaged in relationship with them

we supported them from the very beginning until sentencing by just being present with them

But these women really need a friend they need somebody that is going to go with

them the long haul through their ups and downs Seeing some of the friendships that refined has brought in you

just get to see people grow together and here we get to come and people

have all different stories come from all different backgrounds and um coming together Um just saying like hey

I can love you and you can love me and we can be friends when

I first became paired with my faithful friend I very much anticipated the relationship to be something of a

mentor um mentor leader like relationship I expected to show up and to be advised on the best way

of living you know to be gently corrected in in ways that I might be a stray and that

was not at all my experience Um I was truly met with a reciprocal friendship their specific role is

so beautiful because they just get to be a friend and I think what a lot

of these women need is the space just to be heard my relationship with my refined

friend and with the other ladies involved in refined it represented any relationship I could ever have again and

the relationship with a fine friend is unlearning old things while re learning a new way and

it's worth it When I came into this program I left everyone that I knew from my past so I

don't have a lot of friends coming into this and the refined having a friend that

has the same mindset as me is sober Um someone I can honestly trust and respect

it's very important because I didn't have a lot of that in my past So the first day that

I met with my survivor friend it was weird because it was like I had just met up

with somebody that I hadn't seen in a really long time and it felt so natural God had definitely just

ordained that friendship And so it was very it was very easy just to connect with

her It's not something you just do and you don't get invested in despite the risk of that friendship being

severed or them going back to the life That's all a part of it Part of the commitment

and it's totally worth it refined has brought a lot of stability when it comes

to our volunteers Find really has been a steadfast presence for the women are volunteers know that

there are going to be taken care of the survivor knows that she doesn't have to

worry about anything and the director knows she can always come to us with whatever issue was

brought to her refined has created a very distinct model that we believe is duplicate herbal and our

hope and goal is to provide our support and services two programs throughout the nation Our goal is also to

bring on more mentors and faithful friends and people to serve these women and we need the church to come

alongside us to help make this happen We need to be prepared to help those who have been

exploited on any level to gain back their identity and their life I think a lot of people like

to think that love at first sight is absolutely crazy but it's really not That's probably the easiest love there

is it's love it full site That's what's difficult and that's what you're doing You're loving these

people with full side of what's going on Even if you don't know every detail when you look at christ

and what he did when he was here on earth he engaged with the most vulnerable

communities those who are outcasts And that's what we're called to do The way that the refined women are

loving other women is how jesus calls us to that's how jesus loves us You know And if

I know anything about jesus it's that he loves me and he wants me to love other

people What I mean what else do you need from that That's everything I love

What Isaiah says in chapter 61 verse three when he says that we are to bestow on them

a crown of beauty instead of ashes The oil of joy instead of mourning And a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair When I think of refined that is what we are

doing That crown of beauty is the cosmetology piece that we bring in and providing self worth and

dignity The oil of joy for heart that is hurting that is dry that is in need

We come alongside them in our faithful friend program It is like that oil a bomb to a

dry soul and the garment of praise That's that's our styling service that we provide for job readiness

court support advocacy Again to bring confidence self worth and to be christ to them