Welcome to another episode
of Gaming for the Culture.

I am your hostess with the Moses
Janae Benet, and of course we have

another wonderful guest because
what would the show be without the

amazing people in the gaming industry?

If you don't know?

Gaming for the culture talks to people
in the industry to get behind the

scenes, so we're not like a, oh my gosh,
like look at this thing that happened

in gaming, and it's like a new game.

Like we talk about all things
that are for the culture, so

what's happening in the industry.

If a game is pushing the culture forward,
then we also talk about that as well.

Also, if you want to be a part of
the live streams, a part of the

podcast and ask our guests questions,
please sign up for the Patreon.

It's patreon.com/janae benet, and you get
to ask questions during the live stream.

And you also get to hear the podcast
first before it gets published.

Because we don't do these in order.

Yeah, they come up as they come up.

And then it is what it is.

Without further ado, today's
guest is Lady infamous.

Lady infamous.

Tell the people about yourself.

Let me see.

Um, I am Maria Ramos.

Uh, everybody calls me Lady
or lady infamous, uh, 4 1 5.

You can take the numbers out if you like.

And I am founder,
co-creator, and, uh, co-host.

Of Grown Women Gaming podcast, the
best thing on a Saturday period.

And I, uh, I love to
stream, I love video games.

I love the gaming culture as a whole.

And we have been doing this, right.

Me and Delilah, we fight
about this all the time.

When she say five, I say six, seven.

So I'm gonna, I'm gonna put in the middle
and I'm gonna say almost six years.

So

Nice.

So six years, man.

Okay.

Out of those six, how long
have we known each other?

Because I don't know.

It has to be at least four

right before COVID.

Before COVID.

Before

COVID.

Okay.

Okay, okay.

Yeah.

That's why that's, I'm like, I know
COVID hit 2020 and so it has to be

before COVID.

We met, we met.

Yeah, but we actually never met 'cause
I missed you When I was at GDCI was

at GDC 2023 and I was like, I really
wanna go to the Xbox event, but I have

to do interviews for the documentary.

Oh really?

And then I saw your picture
and I was like, you're here.

And you're like, yeah,
but I gotta get going.

And I was like, oh my gosh.

Look, look, look.

I was working that day.

Mm-hmm.

And, and I work in the coffee business.

So when um, when conventions come into
town, that's what they need me the most.

And I just did not go that year.

So, but I might, I might do it next year.

I might go next year if those tickets are,
if those tickets are not too expensive.

'cause I did look and I was like, mm-hmm.

Oh my god.

They are, they

are.

You know, and GEC is not.

It's not one of those conventions where
you could just show up with like little

to no money because you're in San Fran.

Mm-hmm.

Like you're in San Francisco.

You are gonna need, and I don't have
to tell you, you, you're gonna need

money to eat if you wanna get around,
depending on like, where you're at.

Like GDC requires like mad money.

Yeah.

Especially if you're in that area, the
Moscone Center, that area, that's, they,

they're, they're gonna jack up the prices.

The quality's gonna be like mid, so
I'm gonna be like, if you riding with

me, if you rolling with me in the
convention, we going away from downtown.

We're going way from the touristy spots.

And I'll show you guys the real
deal, you know what I'm saying?

Because I, I understand it's, it's
expensive and you know, the city

gotta make their money and stuff.

But this ain't my first rodeo as
far as convention is concerned.

I'm gonna learn how to cut corners and
save costs because that's important.

Even if I am in my own.

I agree with you.

You know, because I think if you're
not, if you're not watching what you're

spending during a convention during GDC,
during like any, you know, convention,

gaming, industry-wise, anything mm-hmm.

You're gonna look up and spend like 500
and it's been like two days and that's it.

That's, that doesn't
feel good when you leave.

You know what I mean?

Like GDCI think is also at the end of
March, baby, that rent, April rent is

due April, rent, April Mortgage, that
insurance, everything, everything.

Every, all the, all the bills, light Bill
do, baby Shark do, do, do Scooby Doo.

Like, it's like, it's like the, the bills
in the beginning are light, but the bills

towards the end of the month is heavy.

So you really gotta plan
to go to these conventions.

'cause I'm like, when people tell me am
I going to a convention, let me know now.

So I can be able to save up and be
able to have a nice little budget.

Don't ask me to go to no convention,
like a week or two weeks.

Yeah.

That's not fair.

I'm not

going.

Yeah.

'cause I would've made the
necessary sacrifices to go

Yes.

You know,

I would've been like, okay, well
let me not do the most, like

this day, let, let me not buy

these shoes.

Let me not.

Mm-hmm.

Get that special thing.

I always get every two weeks,
you know what I'm saying?

Just to make sure I can
be able to have a budget.

Because it's one thing to go to
a convention with a budget, it's

okay, but you going with no money,
um, unless you got some cool people

who gonna cover for you, I strongly
not advise you not to do that.

I, it's the worst feeling in the world
to not have no money and be able to

go somewhere where you want to go.

It really is.

And we.

Are too old to be doing that.

Either old for that, have to
sit home, or we have the money.

I don't think, I think you get to
a point where you're like, Hmm, I

don't want to be that type of stress.

Like, if you don't mind, you don't mind.

Right.

Like, it doesn't matter how old you are,
if you don't mind, you don't mind if you

know your limit, you know your limit.

And you're like, okay, well I'm, I'm
literally just going out here to go.

Mm-hmm.

Like, I remember when I got
a press badge for E three.

Mm-hmm.

I was like, I don't know how I'm
gonna make it, but I'm gonna go, like,

literally, I'm, I'm sitting, I'm in
my head like, okay, maybe if I just

like, because you know, I've been to
like fighting game tournaments and

stuff like that, and it's like, okay,
maybe if I just like sleep in like

the hotel lobby or like the convention
lobby, like they won't notice like

it's really only a couple of hours.

Like, you know, like,
let me, let me do this.

Let me do that.

And then it, and then my friend was like.

Girl, here's some money for a hotel.

And I was like, what?

And she was like, yes, absolutely.

I know.

Like this is a big deal.

And because it was that big of a deal,
I also was like 24, maybe 25 maybe.

You know, like, okay, well, you
know, it's just, it's just a couple

nights to go to E three to get
this, to do the, because you know.

Anytime you go to a convention, you're
like, oh my gosh, this is life changing.

Oh my gosh, this is so life-changing.

Like, I'm gonna go and
I'm, and I'm gonna do this.

And, and you know, all of a sudden
you're in the mall trying to get

picked up by next top bottle.

Like, that's how it feels.

Yeah.

Going to these conventions,

I, I, I feel, I feel the, you know,
I feel the struggle when I first

went to my first convention as a,
like, gamer, um, I was sleeping in El

Boogie's living room because I didn't
have enough money to actually get

a hotel, you know what I'm saying?

But just for her to like
open up her house to me Yeah.

For someone that she just generally
met, which is very trustworthy of

her, and I appreciate her for that.

I'll never forget it.

Um.

That first experience was great, and the
more conventions you go to, the more,

the more, uh, money savvy you'll be.

And, you know, at times I couldn't
get the most expensive anything,

you know what I'm saying?

Mm-hmm.

I had to, it wasn't, no, it wasn't a
whole, it wasn't a hotel, it was a motel.

You know what I'm saying?

I sleep on people, couches.

My hotel will be like 30 minutes
away from the convention center,

but it will be like the cheapest
Airbnb, you know, things like that.

Just to be able to come corners
and have that experience.

Oh, you, you know, more
when you go more, you know.

Mm-hmm.

My most recent convention when I got
media passes for, uh, pacs East East, oh.

Um, I told myself I had money,
I had my check-ins, and I had

a budget, a credit card budget.

Okay.

And I think, I think I went
over like a couple of hundreds.

Mm-hmm.

Dollars.

But it was okay because I knew the
sacrifices I made to be able to spend

the money that I was able to spend.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love that.

ILI love that so much.

Like convention cultures is
a very big part of gaming.

Mm-hmm.

Like

you can get immersed in gaming
obviously just by like doing it, but the

convention side is completely different
and a completely different beast.

And it requires like a different
etiquette, you know, versus

like a midnight, like if you're
like, oh, I'm going to GameStop.

Yeah.

A midnight

release.

Like, they don't do that no more.

But when it was, yeah, exactly r and
PI, that's why I was getting ready

to

be like, you know, RP but the RP
when it was all you, you know,

you had the excitement, you had.

The thing about those midnight releases
is, and conventions is that your

love for video games is not just you
on your, on your dolo, it's people

just like you loving the same thing.

So.

For my example, I lived, I think
the last midnight launch I went

to was Grand Theft Auto five.

That was it.

Mm. There was people in the line and
you know, like, again, I was one of the

few females that was there by herself
for her own copy and, but just to have

the comradery of people just enjoying
gaming, it's, it's like priceless.

And it goes also with conventions,
because if I'm sacrificing to spend

money on a convention, I know these
people are doing their, their own

form of sacrifices to be here too.

So we don't, yeah.

We don't wanna be like beefing or,
you know, bringing any negative

vibes, knowing how hard we work to
get to these conventions, you know?

Mm-hmm.

Exactly.

You're like, all after
all I did is to get here.

You're not ruining it.

Oh, I will, I will.

Hey, if there's some people like
that, look, I will exit stage left

anyway, so I can't, I can't, I
done, I done overcame my fear of

flights to go to these conventions.

Mm-hmm.

I'm going on cities by
myself at these conventions.

Mm-hmm.

I ain't trying to have
no negative vibes by me.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

So how did you take
the pledge into gaming?

How did that happen?

Um, I always was, I always was a gamer.

Um, I just couldn't afford
it when I was younger, but I

always had a passion for gaming.

So, um, I used to go to the arcades
in the neighborhoods or by the

movie theater, have $5 worth of
quarters and play in the arcades.

And, you know, there was a rough,
a rough path, path in my life

that I just stopped playing games
and just did some other stuff.

And then as I grew up and.

Been more stable with myself
and my own personal life.

Um, I had two jobs and I had, and I
had like two income tax checks in.

One of those checks was
gonna be for a gaming system.

And I asked folks, you know, people
around me, what should I get?

You know, and one of my homegirls
shout out to Twista, she said,

get an Xbox just like me.

So that's how I really, like, that's
really cemented everything because I

was in a better position in my life
to be able to acquire those items.

So I start playing Xbox and, you know,
playing Call of Duty and exploring

my gaming horizon and figuring out
what I like and what I don't like.

And a few years, like seven years
ago, I, I'm still playing video games.

I got a job, you know, I'm, you
know, I had a partner at the

time and I was looking for women
that look like me, you know?

In the gaming space, like let's plays
podcast, you know, stuff of that nature.

And I ha like in 20 16, 20

I think I seen one and
that was Rema the Beast.

Shout out to her.

She's a streamer on Twitch.

That's the first one I seen.

And I was like, Ooh, she
plays the same games as me.

I can do what she do.

'cause she was doing it, she
was shooting, shoot, she was

shooting up in Call of Duty.

And it gave me the little push
of saying maybe I could do this.

So I just started.

Um, as far as like streaming
is concerned, I did not have

any money to start streaming.

I had a old tv, an old
Android phone and empty boxes.

And what I used to do was I used to
prop the boxes up to a line, to the

TV face, the Android phone reverse.

So the camera will face the TV and
I will start recording from there.

And.

It was, it was rough.

It was rough.

I don't know how I did it in the
beginning, but that's what it was

for like the first year, the first
year girl, that's, that's dedication.

Ooh, girl.

That was, nothing's gonna
stop me from doing this.

And I wholeheartedly feel that.

Mm-hmm.

I did, when I started streaming, I
did have the connect, and if anybody

remembers the connect when it was stream.

Mm-hmm.

Like when you had it on to like stream on
Twitch, the camera would go everywhere.

Yeah.

And

especially being like dark skinned.

Yeah.

The camera was like on the ceiling.

It was next to me.

It was just doing
whatever it wanted to do.

So like, I, I, I had the connect,
but I definitely feel that of

like, oh, you know, you know what?

My very first game review,

my very first game review, because I
am a classically trained journalist,

I've always had like a camcorder.

And like a handheld recorder.

And so what I did was I sat on
the couch, I sat on the floor

with the couch right behind me.

Mm-hmm.

And I put my camcorder right over
my shoulder to record the screen.

From my very first game review,
because I didn't have a capture

card or anything like that.

And then I never posted it until like
a, like last year because I was like

embarrassed and like, oh no, you know,
because I, I, I knew how like the gaming

industry kind of was, and I was like,
I don't know if I could really handle

all of that ridicule, but mm-hmm.

I, it's

wild.

It was a passion.

We were re we just had a
little spark in our brain.

Se what can we do?

And that's what, and we made a genuine
effort, you know, some people would've

just dropped it quickly and say, oh, I'll
wait till I'll get the right equipment.

And Yeah.

But slowly but surely, I was just getting,
I was getting my, my stuff together.

So Rema gave me my first headset,
Delilah gave me my capture

card, you know what I mean?

Mm-hmm.

My first capture card.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and the community will
give me their old items.

They'll gimme their old.

Headsets, keyboards, controllers,
stuff like that to get me started.

Like I said, I worked two jobs and
I made, and I made sure that every

time I got paid, I'll put like $50
for Xbox One, you know, and for

with the Connect and everything.

And then I finally got it, and then
that's when I was officially like,

stream on Twitch with the Connect.

Shout out to the Connect.

Mm-hmm.

Because it may not happen.

It got, it got a lot of us started.

Yes.

A lot of us, uh, in the Xbox, uh,
game lab studios, if you don't know

that used to have an app on Xbox
that you can like record clips and

put them together and make a video.

I don't know why they don't got it no
more, but they need to bring that back.

I did.

I've never seen that,
that, that's news to me.

I have never seen that.

Yes, it, well, it was popping in the Xbox
One version, but say for example, if I

wanted to do a five minute review on a
game, I. Get, like, I'll make five clips,

add a minute a piece, then I'll use the
Xbox Lab studio and put them together.

You can add background, you can do
voiceover and like basic editing stuff.

And then it will upload it to YouTube.

Oh.

Like, oh wow.

My, the closest I got to any type of
editing with Xbox, is it putting my videos

on YouTube like 10 minutes at a time.

Yeah.

'cause I used to stream
for like four hours.

Mm-hmm.

So I didn't know that.

Otherwise I definitely would've
been in their like swimwear.

Like That's cool.

Yeah.

They should still have that.

They, I, they, they should.

I swear they should.

Um, but I guess they
didn't keep up with it, so.

Mm-hmm.

Because right now, if I go to
the app, it's not gonna pop up.

So I don't, I'll be like, bring it back.

You know how good that could be right
now in 2024, how convenient that was.

People didn't take advantage of
it, that's why it ain't here now.

But, you know, I, this has
been a reoccurring theme

on a lot of the episodes.

Um, sometimes Xbox doesn't stay
with things that are really good

because it didn't work in the
timeframe they wanted to work.

And I would've liked to see a
bit more dedication from them.

And, you know, PlayStation as well, like,
I feel like there's a lot of good things

about like the camera and I know they
have like a PS five camera now, so while

they kept some of their things mm-hmm.

They have slightly like upgraded them,

I think.

But I think some features both on the
Xbox and PlayStation side back then were

just a little bit ahead of their time
and people really didn't appreciate it.

That sucks.

Yeah,

I agree.

And I feel like they should,
they should just bring it

back like it's so convenient.

You know what I mean?

And I feel like the difference now
and, and like then when they had these

really cool features is everything
was just getting started, right?

And like now there's like
three devices that could do one

thing and like 12 other things.

So they're kind of like,
oh, well we don't need it.

But people like us, like the
convenience of kind of just using

one machine to do one thing.

I think, you know, and especially like
new streamers and stuff like that, they

would appreciate it because it's always
like, what capture card do I need?

What computer do I need?

I need two monitors.

I need a micro keyboard.

I need, you know, like, or a macro.

I need a macro keyboard.

I need this, I need that.

And like, exactly.

I think that's, that's
something that would.

Always benefit, like anybody, especially
people who are like solely Xbox streamers.

Mm-hmm.

It would be really nice.

Yes, it would have.

Yes, it would.

Every time I listen to grown women
gaming, I can't help but hear it.

Even now, I don't know.

I don't know if you, you know that
you do it, but I can't help but

hear like the enjoyment of Xbox.

I know we don't participate
in console wars.

I think that's like one of the no-nos
on like gaming for the culture, but

Yeah, and it, and it makes sense.

Right.

If it was like your first
like gaming console, like.

Like my first grown person that
I spent my money on console,

not the first console period.

And for the record, we have everything
ev all the ladies have everything.

I know,

but you, you and Boogie are always like,

I'm like, my goodness.

I think, I think for Xbox, I think
just, we're just a little bit biased

'cause that's our preferred console.

So of course we're gonna add,
you know, a little bit of

sugar to some shit sometimes.

But I think that's what's
anybody's personal preference.

That's true because mine, um,
my like first adult paid for

with my own money is a PS three.

Yeah.

So like, I, I like PlayStation,
you know, and you're right, like

we, we just all end up having it.

'cause everything has its perks, right?

Like yeah.

Every machine has its perks.

We could do different things
and play different games, so.

Mm-hmm.

I def but I, you know, I hear it.

I don't judge you guys obviously.

'cause you like what you like I,

I, I know, I know people, I know some
people not gonna rock with us because they

see that we're more Xbox, um, focused.

'cause I guess because we all have Xbox
and that's our part, our primary console,

but we also do discuss other aspects of
games like pc, Nintendo, and PlayStation.

And look, I'm staring at my
PlayStation five, like, can I get

a sale so I can play some games?

You know?

Yeah.

So, but all in all, it's
just that we, our chemistry.

It's really amazing and it takes
dedication and discipline and love from

all of us because you can tell when
you watch a show and you see a panel,

if the chemistry is there or they
really legit or they just there for the

show or they're there for each other.

I feel that grown women gaming the panels,
me and the ladies, we are here for each

other when we are not doing the show.

We are talking to each other every day.

And it, it, it don't have to be gaming,
it's just regular real life stuff.

And I think that's crucial if
you're trying to be in a gaming

space and especially if you're
collaborating with other people.

'cause it's okay to do it by yourself
if you do, if you're by yourself,

you know, do whatever you wanna do.

Yeah.

But if you doing it as a collective
with other people, you have to.

Appreciate them.

You have to learn from them.

You have to love them.

You have to invest in them.

And I'm not going to sit here and say
that it's all peachy king every time

because it's, it's, it's human nature
that, you know, we disagree on things.

I

feel like if y'all real friends or
are going to be disagreements Oh,

of course of it is gonna be like, I

don't like that.

And

somebody, me has to

apologize.

Like, yes.

Like, that's

what that is.

Look, I, I have to learn that, you
know, if you really love someone,

you just admit your accountability
and a apologize for your actions.

Yeah.

And, and, and don't spill
the drama on social.

And that's just one thing.

Mm-hmm.

I tell to the ladies, I say, look,
if you got beef with me or anything

I do, or anything I do towards
reflecting GWG, please send me an

email, send me a message, call me.

I tell everybody, you know.

They have some, doesn't necessarily
have to be DWG, but mostly everybody.

Yeah.

I be like, look, if you got beef
with me, if you heard something

about me and you don't like what
I do, please send me a message.

If you know me that well, send
me a text message or call me.

Let's handle this.

Like adults, I don't wanna see no drama.

Yeah.

On,

on the feed.

And especially when it comes to Gwg,
uh, GWG, I told them, look, if you

got people with me, just call me.

Just let me know.

But we'll talk about it.

But I don't wanna see it there.

'cause I don't want them to think,
oh, it's really bad over there.

I'm like, no, we just going through
normal things that everybody goes through.

When you have relationship with people,
not necessarily a romantic relationship,

but just relationships in general to

human experiences, ex exist, coexisting.

Mm-hmm.

Alongside each other.

Mm-hmm.

There's going to be
friction and connection.

I think that's absolutely normal.

And I love, and I hate that
you have to say if you have

something to, for anybody, right.

Obviously not with your girls like y'all.

Yeah.

Talk and you just like,
Hey, this is my personality.

But I, as people who exist, I really hate
that we have to have this conversation

of like, Hey, if you have a problem
with me, like just message me because

like, why is that not the given?

And I had someone completely just like
try to put my business on the timeline.

Mm-hmm.

And she didn't know what
she was talking about.

And then when I messaged her.

When I messaged her, then it was
like, oh, sorry, I didn't know.

Someone just said something to me and
I just wanted to address it in public.

Who are you the president.

She was trying

to, you mean She was
trying to get that clout.

She was trying to get that clout.

'cause she thought she heard
something from somebody about

you and she didn't like it.

So she put it on the tl.

So when you checked her
on it, it's, oh my bad.

And this is the thing, I'm not, when
it comes to this digital space, when it

comes to gaming and content creation,
I will be civil, I will be respectful,

and you know, we can have a common
ground, but I, what I won't do is kiss

ass for opportunities, brown nose, that
type of stuff, because then that means

I'm not giving you my genuine self.

And I, that's what a lot of people do
right now as of late, that they just

wanna be next to the popular person and.

Be next to the person that's more
connected than others, but don't wanna

actually put in the work, you know, to
stream, to be on a podcast, to get to

know your crew, to go to conventions.

Oh, but you know, so and so.

I'm gonna get in where I fit in.

Look, I ain't gonna hate the player,
I ain't gonna hate, I ain't gonna

hate your game or anything like that.

Right?

But that just let me know you want to
take the easier route to where you wanna

be, which is okay for some people, but
I just don't think that lasts long.

And I don't think,
correct me if I'm wrong,

but I don't think you're saying that
like, you have to have this grueling path.

Like if you, you know what I mean?

Like, if you kind of get somewhere,
somewhere and it's, you know,

maybe not everybody else's way.

Like we're not like, ugh.

You're a nepo baby.

Like, we're not saying that you have
like a bunch of nepotism because a

lot of people got where they are.

Um, forgive me, I can't remember her name.

Oh my gosh.

And now I just forgot his name,
but the person who does reading

Rainbow, his daughter was a, like
eSports caster for like a long time.

Mm-hmm.

And

like, I wasn't tripping about
that, you know what I mean?

I, it's, it's, um, we had a really
cool journalist on here and I asked

him what was his like, favorite Haitian
proverb and he was like, you know,

you can't like go like move forward or
move up and look back and shutting the

people who like helped you get there.

Yeah.

And I think that's what it is.

Like if you get somewhere and
you get there off the backs of

other people, did you step on
them or did they give it to you?

Mm-hmm.

I think that that's always
the, that makes the difference.

I, I, I honestly agree, but
I think for me, as far as.

Lady infamous and grown women gaming.

The majority of the opportunities
that I got, I had to show improve.

It wasn't like, oh, here, you know?

Yeah.

One, before they even even present me with
the opportunity, they're gonna look at me,

they're gonna look at my content, they're
gonna look at grown women gaming content,

and they're gonna make a determination
if they want to gimme the opportunity.

And I appreciate every opportunity
that me and the ladies got,

because that let us know that
what we're doing is a good thing.

It may not have, you know, it may
not be as popular as other podcasts,

as it may not be as messy and con
cons Warren type as other podcasts.

But when we get those emails, we,
we appreciate that, especially.

Mm-hmm.

I think the most recent shout
outs to Latinos in gaming.

Um, we collaborated with them
a few times with Twitch and

having round tables discussion
about the Afro-Latina community.

On Hispanic Heritage Month, and
we recently got a special, we were

special guests at PAX West in Seattle.

So we had our own, um,
we had our own room.

We had like an hour and a half and they
said, do what you wanna do with it.

So we was, it was our
first community meetup.

Mm-hmm.

Our first

community meetup.

And we ordered t-shirts.

We went into the business budget and got,
um, we got, I think we got Starfield.

We gave out Starfield some game
pass, I think a, a controller.

We ordered a hundred t-shirts with
our logo and a QR code on the side.

We were going to panels, we were, and
for me, I, I'm the most emotional one out

the group, so when I saw the dinner with
our name on it, like we, we, our meetup

was on Sunday, so we went there Saturday.

To scope out the area?

No, no, I'm sorry.

The meetup was on Saturday and we
went Friday just to scope out the

area just to see what was the layout.

And I saw our name on the banner and I
just was crying because it's a big thing.

I know, I know some, I know some of
the girls was like, girl, stop crying.

We are in No, I'm,

I'm, I'm telling you to

cry.

It's a big thing.

Mm-hmm.

It's a big thing, girl.

But I mean, they probably felt the same
way, but they're not, they probably hold

back to tears, you know what I'm saying?

But not me.

I had, not me, but not me because an
idea became this, you know what I mean?

Excuse me.

Mm-hmm.

So we did our community spaces and if
they didn't see us for our potential,

we will never get the opportunities.

And that's where
everybody, just work hard.

Do be yourself and.

They will see it and they, the
opportunities will come to you.

Um, and I appreciate everybody, everybody,
everybody, because especially at the

time I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be quite
frank, especially at the time before

I got my teeth fixed, at one time I
had to, I, like, my grill was fucked

up, my grill was so fucked up and I'm
being real transparent with you guys.

And I had to continue to do
this with my grill fucked up.

And I was so self-conscious.

And at, at some point, you know,
people were like, don't listen to her.

She can't even fix her shit type of stuff.

And it really bothered me as an
individual because it lets me know,

like it's, I'm not good enough, right?

Mm-hmm.

Mind you, um.

I'm doing, I'm doing a podcast with
my camera on, I'm avoiding, you

know, showing my, my teeth so much.

I don't wanna embarrass
the girls and, you know.

Mm-hmm.

The girls were like, we don't care.

We love you anyway.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

As is the real, the, a lot of folks
really didn't stop talking to me

after that, but the real ones was
like, eventually you'll get it fixed.

We still love you anyway.

Yeah.

If you want it fixed, then we want it
fixed for you, but if you don't, yeah.

Like, we love you.

Yeah.

So I had to like muster up the
confidence to do it with a straight face

talking about gaming, meeting people.

And when I was able to, it
was like, oh, look at her.

More people started to come
back and talk to me and have a

conversation with me, and I'm like,
but where were you when, you know.

When they were putting memes up
on, on Twitter, where were you?

Oh gosh.

I just wanna let you know.

I never saw those.

I, no, no, because I, I seen them
'cause they brought it to me.

Mm-hmm.

And people,

I wish you would've seen them because
they will let you know how quick,

how, how powerful they, I wish

I would, you said?

Yeah, because,

because they'll show you the, the power
of the transformation that I have become.

I am not that person.

Yeah.

So when a girl got her little coin right.

Got her stuff fixed, more people
was like, oh, look at her.

Oh, look at this.

Oh, lemme talk to you.

And I'm like, after that, I, I closed
my circle because I knew at the end

of the day, it's always about who,
you know, who you rub shoulders with.

And I know how that gets to people,
and I've seen it in real time how

the loyalty changes because of
another person's opportunities.

I mean, I may not be the
yeah person to give you an

opportunity, but I'm down with you.

If I'm down with you, I'm down with you.

And there was opportunities, there
were times that, you know, I was down

with people and I was down with some
things, but they wasn't that I didn't

get reciprocated that, that love
or that energy and I can't continue

to be showing love to a brick wall.

Yeah.

So I just focused my love somewhere else.

I focused my support on the people
that actually focused with me.

And then, and during that
time, you might lose people.

You might not talk to people no more.

It might be people that you thought
you was gonna be down with forever.

And they don't, they act like
they don't even know you if

you're in a room with you.

Mm-hmm.

So, but you have to appreciate
the people that are around you.

And like I said, I. I try to tell my girls
every once in a while that I love them.

We, we tell each other, we love each
other every week, but I just wanna let

them know as like from a professional
business podcast standpoint, that

I appreciate their contribution.

That I love them for that,
that I love their ideas.

You know what I mean?

The things that they showed me taught me
to be a better woman than I was before.

And that right there, you no money
is, is, there's no price on that.

That's huge.

That's huge.

And I, I am with showing appreciation and.

Whew.

We talking about being vulnerable.

I could, I, I could share a thing or two.

So it's not something that I speak
on a lot, but I have said it a

couple of times and I am dealing
with a disability that I've been

dealing with since I was like 16.

Mm-hmm.

And it's, it's an autoimmune
disease called rheumatoid arthritis.

And so like, it will, it can
like mess up your hands, like

your joints and things like that.

And so since I've been doing like a
lot of gaming peripheral tutorials,

I get insecure about my hand because
like, I have like a funky finger just

because I was playing basketball one
day and I jammed it, and now it's like

permanently jammed and like swollen.

Mm-hmm.

So I get like uncomfortable, like
when I'm like on camera, I'm like, I

don't know what to do with my hands.

And like if I'm demoing a mouse, I'm
like, I really need like a left hand

mouse because I'm about to lose it.

And so I definitely feel you
just about like being insecure.

And I know it's not like as prominent
potentially as like, you know, your

teeth 'cause you're gonna speak
and everyone's gonna see that.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and you know, like I said, I
did see it and you're gorgeous.

What?

Like regardless.

Oh, I'll be sure.

I'll be sure.

I made sure that I

was looking on, I was like, even if my
teeth fucked up, everything gonna be

el, everything else gonna be period.

Period.

You control

what you can.

Yeah.

You control what, what you
can team of that mindset.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I do love the fact
that you have a group.

I think everybody needs a group, and this
is like more vulnerability, which I, I

feel like I'm just now starting to get
like my group, like I have best friends

and then they're not really into gaming.

Mm-hmm.

So like, I haven't found like my group
of people to create content with.

Mm-hmm.

And I like really, really wanna do
that because, you know, like we were

talking about earlier of me being
like, Ugh, I'm in the space, but

I'm not really like in the space.

And like,

look, you are always
gonna be in the space.

I don't care if you used to do it
a lot and you don't do it now when

someone looks up your name on Google,
they gonna know the accolades and

work that you put in the space.

Okay.

Period.

Period.

Yeah.

That's very true.

I do.

It is.

Love that though.

Don't you?

Like for, you guys

don't, yeah, don't you, don't you
like hit your name up on Google

like every once in a while just
to see what pops up, you know?

Yeah.

I actually have a Google alert
just in case somebody like

writes about me or cites me.

And so it does, oh, I do get
'em like weekly or something.

Like weekly to

monthly.

So I, I, I, I check every once
a, I mean, I just, I say one

day, lemme just check, you know?

So I, there's the stuff I
did like all those years ago.

So just appreciate we
all go through things.

I'm telling you it ain't, it ain't
just me and HSU it is just everybody

going through their own personal,
like test personal struggles.

And some people they'll keep
quiet and, you know mm-hmm.

Continue to do their thing.

Some people will be open with their
issues and test and, you know.

Personal, personal fights within
themselves and show their vulnerability.

I think as far with black women,
uh, gamers, podcasters, journalists,

developers, we all have shown a
little bit of vulnerability in the

space that we're not getting enough
respect for and for, for everybody

says that, you know, it's better for
the black community in the gaming

space, but it's still, it's still bad.

Yeah.

It's

still bad.

Yeah.

Very much so.

The same struggles that any
industry is having mm-hmm.

The gaming industry is gonna have like,
no, like that's a no brainer, you know?

And I think it's hard to
be like vulnerable because.

When I first started to get into
the gaming industry, I kind of saw

people getting clout off complaining.

Mm-hmm.

But I'm not like that.

And I didn't want that.

And I don't want that.

And so like, um, like I haven't shared
this on Twitter, so this is breaking news.

Something I've only shared like on my
Facebook and like Discord, but I'm going

through divorce right now, you know,
like, and I wanted to share to be like,

you know, hey, like I know somebody
else is probably going through this.

And so that's why I wanted to share.

But like, I just still haven't
shared it because like, I

really just don't know how to.

Put it out there and then like,
keep moving because I don't

wanna make it my personality.

I just kind of wanna be one of those
people that breaks the ice of like,

hey, like, you know, oh, I'm going,
I'm, I'm going through divorce too.

Or like, oh, like, maybe I should also not
be with someone who's like not nice to me.

You know, just like sparking that.

Um, I under, I understand what
I'm not, I never been married.

I ain't never, you know, I've
been like, my last relationship

been o like over five years ago.

You, when, you know, everybody
has their, their their tipping

point, the breaking point.

Yeah.

And if, for me, in my personal case,
I did not see my partner as trying

to excel the way I was because even
though I was trying to, you know, do

video game related content and things
of that nature, I was also working.

I'm also.

This is the beginning of my coffee career.

So I'm, I'm working.

Mm-hmm.

I'm paying bills, I'm taking
care of my man and I'm gaming.

And it wasn't reciprocated in that way.

And we both fucked up.

I did.

I did.

I cheated.

He, he was physical, you know what I mean?

And I knew I had to leave.

And it's sometimes, at the end of
the day, it's just better to leave.

And I think most people,
this is, might be a hot take.

I just think like most people that
are married or been with people

for a long time, and they're not
elevating, they're just kind of stuck.

And they're not, you know,
they're not, they don't have

the confidence to leave yet, or
they're comfortable where they are.

Yeah.

And I can understand that.

But like, I would rather be alone.

And trust me, loneliness
is gonna get you girl.

It's, it's gonna be there for
a minute, but it's the time

I had to rediscover myself.

I had to rediscover who
I was without my partner.

And dating in this industry
is, I'm sorry, I can't do it.

I,

I, I can't do it.

Girl, you didn't see my face.

I was like, in the industry.

In the industry.

I don't know if I could do that.

I don't know.

I, I really don't know.

I kind of dig a few people because
they were either gamers, you know,

things of that nature, you know,
the common ground was gaming.

Um, but, you know, it's just as,
as, it's not as, it's just as tough.

Even maybe a little bit harder because
yeah, if, if they, if that person's known,

then you gotta go with their personality.

With your personality.

And there has to be
sacrifices on both ends.

Just like any other relationship.

I just, I just realized that
dating in the industry, quote

unquote, people are more receptive.

For who Lady infamous is, but they
really don't care who Maria is.

And I want someone facts, who knows facts,
who wants, who wants to get to know Maria?

Not lady infamous.

Look, let me tell you, if I could just
use, they'd be like, oh my God, you

lady infamous, ah, that's, I swear.

I want someone to get to know Maria.

Lady infamous will always be there.

She will be in a cut, just chilling.

You know who she is.

But you need to know who Maria is because
yes, part of Maria is lady infamous,

but there's, there's things that.

People don't know about Lady Infamous.

'cause that's where Maria at.

You know, I hope that don't sound
crazy, but No, that doesn't.

Maria.

Maria, I'm gonna let you slide.

I don't

like that song, but I'm
gonna let you slide.

I'm gonna let you slide Now I know.

Now I know.

We won't do that no more.

My exboyfriend, my

ex-boyfriend used to do that shit.

I was like, oh my God, don't do that.

Oh my gosh.

Uh, that okay.

You said it.

That makes perfect sense.

It makes perfect sense, right?

That's fine.

That's fine.

Yeah.

Lady infamous stops where Maria
begins and Maria stops where lady

infamous begins because that's
why you're not like, oh my gosh.

Like this is all of
like my personal stuff.

'cause Maria's personal.

Yeah, Maria, very personal.

And Maria people, a lot of people say
Maria and ladies the same thing, but

Maria won't tell you the, you know,
the personal struggles that I go

through every day outside of gaming.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Um, sometimes I used to do, I, I did blogs
and I used to tell people like my personal

stuff, but I try to scale that back.

Yeah.

Because I, I told myself like I had
to scale back on the blogs because

I'm like, I can't give them my
gaming life and my personal life.

Exactly.

It's too much.

Yeah's too much.

Just you're

now you're a public figure, like Yeah.

Don't nobody wanna be that.

Yeah.

I, I don't, I'm, and you know, I will
do it from, I used to do it every week.

I do it maybe every couple of
month now, but I still stream like

two or three days out the week.

But as far as like, unless
I'm going somewhere, like I'm

thinking about going to Alcatraz.

'cause uh, Alcatraz is Rebirth Island, um,
in Call of Duty and also the Zombie Map,

mob of the Dead, you know what I mean?

And it's, it's not, it's, it's my city.

So I was like, I was thinking like,
maybe that'll be my next blog.

You know what I'm saying?

Doing something exciting
like that, but also.

Day-to-day stuff.

I, I really don't want to
divulge with that unless somebody

that's personal within my life.

I agree with you.

I know the hip kids don't use Facebook
anymore, but I had so many friends

on Facebook, like, so many friends
of just like, people you know, you

like met once, crossed paths with.

And then when all of this stuff
started happening to me where I did

kind of wanna talk more about it,
but kind of like hide it behind.

Mm-hmm.

You know, like my Facebook,
I literally went down to like

maybe like 150 friends mm-hmm.

Like at that.

And these are people that I've known
for like years and things like that.

So then I, you know, not making
it like my personal diary, but

just being like, today sucks.

'cause you know, they're gonna be like,
oh, like how are you, your husband?

And I'm gonna be like,
Hmm, sorry to this man.

I don't know, you know?

Yeah.

I got you.

I got you.

So it's like, I would post so much
and be like, my man, my man, my man.

And now it's like, well, no man.

No man, no man.

And like, you know, which is,
which is like fully okay, but.

Yeah.

Also, you know, I wasn't posting on
Twitter like I remember so vividly.

'cause I feel like it was like a
little check-in post where I had

posted, uh, I was in like a ghost
town and I took a picture in front

of like, little fire station and
you're like, okay, vacation mode.

And I was like, oh my gosh, I
really ain't really been on here.

Like, I just remember you saying that.

I was like, okay, I have not been on
Twitter and I haven't been on Instagram.

And right now I post every day on
Instagram trying to get y'all back.

Not like y'all, but get myself back up
to speed for like, not posting for yeah.

Two, three years now.

Like, I'm, I'm really working on it,
but you know, you do wanna separate it.

And I think I needed that break
too, to separate Janae, like Janae

journals, Janae and Janae, who like,
you know, um, lives like a personal,

has a personal life and mm-hmm.

I may take pictures of
the places I go, but.

You are not gonna see
me live, live treatment

every day about shit.

I do.

It's not gonna happen.

I mean, if no, if you know me long
enough, I don't, you know where

I'm gonna be at mostly, you know?

Yeah.

I'm gonna send a text message, like, and
be like, Hey y'all, I'm, I'm going here.

I literally have a group message of like,
all of my friends, update them at the

same time, like mostly my girlfriends.

I'm like, Hey y'all, this
is where I'm gonna be at.

So like

mm-hmm.

If

you're looking for me, that's fine.

I might be, I might be available.

Like, I, I may not, and it's
nice that way, you know?

'cause then I'm not looking for like
that validation and that care especially,

I didn't wanna fall into that trap.

I didn't even know if I could or would,
but like going through the divorce.

I didn't wanna fall into that
trap of like, online validation

or like being in my echo chamber.

Yeah.

Like something like that.

So I was like, I'm gonna sit with it
and see how I feel because like this is

about me, it's not about nobody else.

Mm-hmm.

So it

it been times that, you know, I wanted
to say what I wanted to feel on Twitter.

Oh yeah.

And then I said I had to send
back and I had to be like,

oh yeah, lemme delete that.

So I agree that that's
another side of it too.

Right.

Just being like, and this, and y'all
not going believe, and like, it's

like, okay, if I'm not posting like
the heartfelt, like sentimental

stuff, I'm not gonna rage post either.

Yeah.

Like, I think that makes
sense to, to not do.

I I I, I am a victim of, you know, I can,
I can, no, I'm not gonna say a victim.

I, I fell into the trap sometimes.

It was just something, something on the TL
that just made me just snap and step back.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

But I don't think everything, I
think social media is very emotional.

It's not real.

It ain't emotional.

It's, it's fake since

look, I'm telling you.

Look, I think it's emotional though.

If it's fake, people are invoking
emotions so they can sit in their

echo chamber or cause a ruckus.

I think when I first got on Twitter,
I wanted to expand my, um, my

knowledge of people that's in the
space of gaming and getting to know

more people that like what I like.

I think after Twitter blew,
before Twitter blew, it was great.

You could, you could network, you could
send, you know, you can do collaborations.

People had sent stuff like that.

After Twitter Blue, it was like,
let me find the most ridiculous

thing to say so I can make money.

That's facts.

That's big facts.

You're right.

I do remember it being like
a place of coming together.

Yeah.

And not like how TikTok is right now.

That's like if your name is
Cynthia and you have blonde hair

and you, you know what I mean?

Like you live with the Angelica Pickles.

Let me tell you what I heard
her say at the Home Depot.

It was like a, Hey you guys, I'm really
trying to do this like cool thing.

And they're like, oh, I know this person
who's probably interested in doing this.

Or like, Hey, you guys, you know,
like I'm looking for my next role.

You know, even more helpful than
LinkedIn because LinkedIn has turned

into like this spammy, weird place.

Yeah.

You know, I feel like Twitter
was the land of possibility.

It ain't now, and then it ain't now.

No.

So, but it's okay.

I, it's okay.

I, I, I still call it my side piece.

It's always gonna be my side
piece, but we gonna let it,

we gonna call a spade a spade.

It wasn't like, right now it is
not as many, there's more people

in the space and less opportunity.

So it's, it's like a crab in
a bucket type of situation.

And I'm too over that.

Mm-hmm.

I'm too old for that.

I'm too over for that.

Mm-hmm.

I will, I have like, as far as
monetary value, like to be a hundred

percent real with you, lady infamous
ain't making no money on her game.

Hello?

Hello.

Hello?

Like lady infamous hell, the
truth and shame the devil.

I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I think
I try to raise money to go to PAX West

and I only got $14 compared to exactly
what I raised from like my second E three.

I think I raised like maybe 400 bucks.

So I have my, I. I'm not, trust me,
I am not here to like, make money.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

And as far as like GWG in
a sense, we don't touch it.

It we, we don't make enough
to be like, oh, let's just do

what we gotta do and blow out.

We just, we go through our,
we do our separate thing.

It's the money is there from our merch.

You know what I'm saying?

We're not money hungry at all.

We let the money stack.

And I think that's another thing.

If you're gonna make money in this space,
you gotta let, and you know, you not

making the money that you wanna make.

You can't be spending
the money that you make.

You gotta let it stack.

Yeah.

You have to let it stack.

But lady infamous, I ain't made money in
two years, like enough money for me to

like put it on my taxes type of money.

Yeah.

And I'm not saying that it's a bad thing.

Maybe it's just my audience change.

Or maybe people pockets are
not like it used to be, which

I completely understand that.

I can understand that.

I feel like as a streamer,

do you feel.

It's hard to base your income
on other people donations.

I don't.

I surely don't.

And I did that in the beginning.

Yeah, I did that in the beginning because
I knew that I wanted to be in this space.

Excuse me.

But I also knew that there's a
possibility that I, I may not have.

I can make money, but it's a
possibility that I won't make

enough money to stop working.

Sorry, I had something in my throat.

Um, that's okay.

Take your time.

Sorry.

Um, so in the back of my mind, I
knew, I knew it was a possibility

that I'm not gonna quit my job, but
I wanted to continue to do this.

So what I earned, I appreciate.

The money that I earned, it helped
me get, you know, absolutely.

It helped me in ways.

I know what time I was broke as
fuck, and you know, the Twitch ca

check came in and I went grocery
shopping, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Or I wanna go wash my clothes, you know,
stuff that was the stuff that I used

the money for, you know what I'm saying?

But I knew I couldn't make enough.

I wasn't like Mr. Beast, or I wasn't Kai.

Yeah.

I wasn't one of the big streamers that
making that money to stop streaming

and streaming all day every day.

So,

but I feel that.

Yeah.

And, but there, the, but that's what,
that's where the real challenge is as

far as being a content creator, as far as
being a streamer, a gamer, a podcaster.

What you gonna do when the money
ain't, the money ain't hit no more.

Or what you gonna do.

Yeah.

If that can't be your business model,
like no streaming is a means to a

end, you know, it's not the end.

It's no.

Yeah.

I would

rather have, I would
have, it's, what is it?

Good.

I would rather have a hundred people
watch me than actually get a hundred

dollars at this point, because
that's what's I more important me.

It's so much more entertaining.

Yeah.

I don't want nobody to come here and just
shoot me a hundred dollars than leave

because I'll be like, damn, that's it.

Right.

Because I could have did this off screen.

I could have sent you a voice note.

I could have.

Okay.

I want people, I, as far as my
personal content, I want people to

sit there and enjoy and laugh and
if they wanna do what they gotta do,

if they want to tip me, that's fine.

If not them being there,
them sharing it out.

Yeah.

That is free.

The, the free, like
the free, the free shit

is what's important.

Mm-hmm.

I would rather it, it feels real
good to be like, oh wow, you like

thought of me and you shared it, like
you saw it, you'd be like, man, I

know somebody who's gonna like it.

Yeah.

You

know, I feel like for a long time.

I would deal with people where I'd
be like, Hey, can you share it?

And they'd be like, that's not
really like my friend audience.

And then I was like, so then why
are we like following each other?

You know?

Like if I gave social media advice
to anybody, it's don't let your

friends follow you if they're not
in the same space and if they're

not interested in your content.

Mm-hmm.

Because now you're getting low
views and dead weight dead.

Maybe you only have 10 followers, but
like nine of them come through and

like, you know, that's 90% versus having
a hundred follow a hundred thousand.

Mm-hmm.

And you only have like 10 people
who consistently come through.

Like, I don't want to be on somebody's
follow list for whatever it is.

TikTok.

Instagram Twitch, just because they
don't wanna miss something when I do

something that, you know what I mean?

Like, when somebody references me, then
they can like easily go back and find me.

I want them to be like, Hey, like
what, when are we gonna see this?

Or like, Hey, hey, I'm really
looking forward to this.

Yeah.

Like those are the people Yeah.

That

are valuable.

Yes.

Yes.

Exactly.

Um, all I got advice from
someone and they told me, all

you need is a thousand people.

A thousand people that is down with
you, that it'll be a significant boost

to anything that you do, you know?

Mm-hmm.

Um, do I have a thousand people?

I, I think I got, I think I got more
people secretly enjoying me versus people.

Mm-hmm.

The ERs versus people actively
promoting and supporting.

On the free side we're talking about,
we're not talking about monetary

back, we're talking about point,
click, share, comment, all that stuff.

Mm-hmm.

I think the majority of my personal
audience really enjoy what I do and

really enjoy what I say and really
love my spun, you know, my spunk,

my open-mindedness, my realness.

But they are too afraid to actively
engage or actively support based

on like, you know, the social
of their social media presence.

I can say that for a fact.

I think there's more people that enjoy
me secretly, that people, I think more

people join me, enjoy me as a person
and a content creator secretly than the

haters that talk about me all the time.

Mm-hmm.

Do you think you're controversial
A little bit and that's

why a little bit

Oh, I know bit.

I don't think you are.

Well, you know, I do.

I, I, I, my extracurricular
activities probably cause me to

get hurt in some opportunities.

Here and there, and then when I mean
by extracurricular activities, it's

my, it's my consumption with cannabis.

You know what I'm saying?

And I never, y'all, cannabis
is helping me out mentally.

I would rather use cannabis than,
you know, antidepressants for food.

It's not crack if somebody is
doing cracking than paid though.

That's what I'm saying.

Doesn't like,

so I'm, somebody's using like crack
cocaine and still getting their duckets.

Okay, look, look, we not

look, let me tell you, let me tell you,
you cannot talk about lady infamous

smoking weed when you got out here.

People smoking crack, meth
and cocaine, fentanyl.

Oh my God.

I'm telling you, that's a
whole nother conversation.

But I didn't want, I didn't either be
fake and tell 'em that you don't smoke

so you can get more opportunities or be
yourself and let these people know that

you are four 20 friendly and you just
gonna lose the opportunity that you lose.

And there's content for that too.

People be wanting that
type of audience, right?

So they're like, oh, we do need
someone who smokes weed to like

promote this thing because, you know,
it's a THC like friendly product.

Like, and I think
cannabis friendly product.

Yeah.

And I think when more states get legal and
when you get more, and I hate to say it,

when more big business coming a picture,
they're gonna look at the streamers.

Yeah.

And they might not, not me per se, but
they're gonna look at it could be you,

you know, I wish it was, I I hope it does.

It's gonna be you.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Hell yeah.

I, I'm ready, I'm ready.

I, I mean, at back in the days I wanted
to be like endorsed by the cookie

company, like, you know, the cookie
outfits I get and, and their, their

clothing store and a cannabis company.

And I wanted to be like, come on.

I told 'em to get like a streamer program.

So I, yeah.

If anybody like is in the
cannabis industry and.

You can do a streamer program with
someone that's over the age and in

and then they live in the state.

A respectable state that
is four 20 friendly.

They should collaborate with that.

'cause a lot of people consume cannabis
in the industry and you know, there's

some content creators and there's not
a lot of us that are four 20 friendly.

But I appreciate everybody who's
like, actively, like responsibly,

like being cannabis friendly
and playing video games as well.

Mm-hmm.

Well I didn't know you was
cannabis friendly 'cause I

pitch you for everything.

Anytime somebody's like,
we need streamers, I got my

set and you're in my set.

So if anybody ever does that, you know,
I'll absolutely bring up your name.

That's no problem.

Oh, I appreciate it.

I appreciate it.

It's, but that's the thing though,
you knew who I was and how I presented

myself and you just know that I just,
you know, I'm, I'm friendly like that.

Um, because that's how you gotta.

You know, take care of yourself.

You know what I'm saying?

You gotta, yeah.

You can't.

I learned a long time ago, you can't
be, you can't smoke a joint, put

it out and go to the convention.

You can't smoke a blood, put it out.

Respectability

PO politics is a thing as much,
much as you don't want it to be.

We know when to play by the rules.

We know when, like, it
took me, my first one,

it took me my first convention to find
out like, you can't be smelling like loud.

Your breath can't be
kicking like Jackie Chan.

Yeah.

So I had to transition vape pens, make
sure mini toothbrushes, just in case, you

know, to do a quick swab or, or Listerine
strips, you know what I'm saying?

Those type of things.

And I think how I presented myself,
I really wanted to be considerate of

other people because I'm friendly.

They may not be, and they may not be
used to the thing that comes with that.

So let me be respectable mm-hmm.

In their space and not, you know, be loud.

And I think a lot of people, even
though they knew that, they just.

Say, well, you know what?

She cool.

She, she's probably friendly,
but you know what, at the end of

the day, she streams every day.

She got this podcast every week.

She's always collaborating
with other folks, and she

out here playing video game.

Let's give her a chance
at this opportunity.

You know?

Yeah.

Numbers don't lie.

Statistics don't lie.

Analytics don't lie.

You know?

I know there is more scrutiny.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

When it comes to black women.

Mm-hmm.

Black streamers just in general,
you know, because there are a

lot of problematic people that
continuously get those opportunities.

And so we know that.

So, you know, you're not wrong
in how you're doing things and

how you're going about things.

I think you know exactly how to
play the game anytime it comes up.

It's, it's a lot of trial and error.

And I think, um, I
call, I call us the OGs.

Uh, before Kobe, we was just the OGs.

We.

We knew what we had to do, uh, as far
as trying to get our name out there, and

most before COVID, most of the time we
had to go to these, you know, events.

We had to go to these meetings.

We had to go to these conventions
because just doing online

at that time wasn't enough.

It wasn't enough.

Yeah.

It wasn't, you're right.

You're absolutely right.

You had to show up, hi, I'm Jeanette.

Mm-hmm.

Just so you remember me.

You'll see me next time.

And then be like, Hey, it's me.

Remember?

And then, yeah, and then you keep popping
up and it's very elitist in that way.

Mm-hmm.

Because if you can't get there.

I'm telling you what happens.

They won't know who you are
because I'm telling you.

Yeah.

When I first went to my first
GDC Xbox event, it was me and L

Boogie, and we got there early.

So I'm like, oh man, we here early.

And guess who I seen?

I, we seen Aaron Berg and Phil Spencer.

I called him Killer Phil.

You told me not to, uh,
not to call 'em that.

And that was the beginning of, of
them knowing them as individuals.

Ho

Oh, hold on.

Hold on.

We're not gonna just glaze gze past that.

Okay.

Yes.

Read it back and be

specific.

Oh, okay.

Everybody, everybody, uh, this
story folks from time to time.

Um, I'm green at this moment,
you know what I'm saying?

So.

The closest I got to Aaron Greenberg
and Phil Spencer was like through

tweets or whatever videos they
have out for the certain games.

So there was a Xbox a
bit in San Francisco.

You know, if there's an event
and it's gaming related and

it's San Francisco, I'm going.

So me and El Boogie, we linked up
and, you know, show around the city

and then we go to this meetup, this
event, and we got there a little

early, like maybe 30 minutes early.

Um, and as soon as we try to get in to
see what was going on, we saw Aaron and

we saw Kayla, Phil, uh, AKA Phil, Spencer.

So I'm green.

I, I don't know how to talk to people yet.

I'm just, I'm in like a giddy girl
mode because these are people that

work for the company, for the gaming
system that I really, really enjoy.

So I was geeking and I called him Killer
Phil, and he said, you know, respectfully

not to, you know, call him that.

And I was like, cool.

And um, we just met, he had a little small
chit chat and you know, from then on.

Every time they had an event,
I will try to go there.

I will try to meet up with
people and talk to them.

And then when the fan fest started to
kick in, I, I don't, I didn't wanna

be, I know Phil Spencer and Greenberg
and anybody up there on the top spot.

I know they, they booked in busy.

I don't wanna be the person that
just constantly talked to them about

video games and, you know, being
like all groupie mode with them.

So I, I wanted to be just, you
know, it was quick small talk.

It's, I'm not gonna talk about
games about, you know, about that.

I'm gonna be like, Hey, look at Aaron
Greenberg has some good sneakers.

He had some, uh, air Force one
dunk Xbox Edition that was only

available for the employees.

And that's how I sparked up
the conversation with him

about shoes and sneakers.

'cause I like sneakers as well.

And when it came to Phil, it, it wasn't,
I think I met him like four times.

And throughout the years, um, I
always try to be professional.

I always had try to have the
quorum and, you know, present

my best self, you know, so.

Mm-hmm.

I appreciate those moments 'cause that's
what's teaching me how to approach

people and adjust to my environment.

Especially being the type
of person to who I am.

I, I couldn't talk how I'm talking to
you right now to some executive level up

person trying to get my name out there.

I have to learn how to, you
know, have some decorum, have

some, you know, language, you
know, can't be hood all the time.

Especially if they're

unfortunately I agree with you.

Yeah.

And it's not a good feeling, you know,
'cause you just wanna be like, what's up?

I remember I. I was at a job
fair and they had like food and

then they had like tartar, which
is just like raw ground beef.

Mm-hmm.

Right?

It's just like raw meat.

And so there's this company that
I've applied to so many times

and they keep telling me no.

And you know, everyone's waiting
in line to talk to the recruiter.

Yeah.

Um, and so I got there and I
was like, Hey, how are you?

And he's like, pretty good.

I'm like, have you gotten the food?

And he's like, yeah.

And I was like, did you try the tar Tar?

He was like, yeah.

And I was like, that's not my
favorite, you know, blah, blah, blah.

And so like I did try to be a bit
different and then be like, hey, yeah.

You know, so I definitely have
like applied and things like that.

Um, you know, because in those
spaces, I think people, this was

like probably 2019 or something.

So like the job market
was getting worse, right?

It was getting worse.

And so, you know, everybody who probably
came up to me was like, hire me now.

Job, job me.

Now I'm only talking to
you because I need a job.

So like, I understand what you mean of
trying to say something else and then be

like, okay, well now you know, this is a
thing like I actually want to talk about.

But yeah, sometimes it's hard to talk to
people when they don't wanna talk to you.

Yeah.

And I'm glad that that, that you
didn't get that experience with them.

Just like in general it's very hard
because you're like, okay, well

I'm, I'm not saying it never
happened, I'm just saying Yeah, it

didn't happen when it's, when I was
talking to them, they always, yeah.

Had a few minutes for me and
that's, and I'm okay with that.

You know what I'm saying?

I appreciate that.

Because they don't got to Yeah,
they can always tell their

assistant not to, not to talk to me.

They got, they got it like that.

I do.

If I had it like that and I know
somebody was coming to see me and

they wasn't having to write the
quorum, I'll tell my assistant like.

I can't talk to her,

not lady

turning down herself.

That's

bogus.

That's

so bogus.

If, if

I was in that position.

Because, because if you're in that
position and you see this person multiple

times, they, and they're not, they're
not, they're not presenting themself.

Well even chalk it up or not talk to 'em.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Facts.

Facts, yeah.

Facts.

You think I wanna be around
somebody that smell like weed and,

and talk hood all the damn time?

That's facts.

No.

Well, you know, oh, well latter
part, you know, is fine, but

the poor part.

Okay, okay.

Okay.

But there's, there's, there's,
but there's levels to that though.

Yeah.

'cause there's people that can be a
hundred percent hood with no decorum

and they can spew out straight garbage.

Or you can go, you can talk hood and
speak facts and speak experiences.

You know what I mean?

There's levels.

Mm-hmm.

There's levels.

And I just think it's just a balance.

It's just a balance.

Of just, you know, being myself
and also being as professional as

I can in a professional setting.

If I'm with my crew, if we're,
if we're out there in Seattle,

we gonna go to the karaoke bar.

I'm an aka fool.

I'm, I'm, I'm Ca Oh my gosh.

I love a karaoke bar so much.

Oh, we had a karaoke bar night at GWG.

It was my idea.

It was my idea.

I was like, in Seattle.

Oh my gosh.

I rented a karaoke bar for a couple
of hours after on Friday night, and

it was next to this park and they had
this like bicycle run and it was this

naked, it was full of naked people.

They was just riding bicycle.

Oh, it was the

naked bicycle Yeah.

Thing.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've heard of that.

Yeah, they there, they,
there they was out there.

So it's, it's really in the space is
really life experience in a gaming

setting and I think the, the skills
that I learned in gaming transcends to.

Things in my life I can say I

agree with that.

Mm-hmm.

Lady, give me a hot take.

Tell me, you know, give
me, gimme something wild.

Give me, give me your, your, um,
what, what did I say earlier?

What did you say?

What did I do Controversial.

Give me, gimme a, a straight up lady rant.

Okay.

Gimme a minute.

Gimme a minute.

Okay.

Okay.

We're giving lady infamous a moment of
silence so she can, alright, I got you.

Get her rant together.

Oh, she's ready.

Okay.

I need, I need people that are
black and people of me hard.

B. Black and people of color,
more roses that y'all giving us.

Y'all just giving us stems and stones
and, and thorns right now because

there's too many black creators
that's not giving enough exposure

because it's a lot of brown nosing
and dick sucking in the space.

And I really don't like that, especially
with these black women content creators.

They are busting their ass here to
let people know that we are here

and we are fighting a uphill battle.

So I need you men out there, especially
my black men, to give us the respect that

we do, that we do for you guys as well.

Because I see a lot of dick riding for
people that's not even down with us.

So, um, please be careful of
who you associate yourself

with and that is my hot take.

I don't think that's controversial at all.

I think you said rant.

You said rant.

So I said rant.

Well, yeah, I, I think

I agree with you though.

I'm, I'm right there with you.

I'm not a controversial person.

I'm not a controversial person.

I, I, I just, I just play my video games
and I do the best thing on a Saturday,

which, by the way, we are nominated.

Oh, the day is the last day.

The day is the last day for, uh, I'll
send you, I'll send you the info.

Uh, voting for, uh, B-I-P-O-C
awards for the chatter box.

I voted

for you already.

I voted for y'all already.

I Oh, thank you.

When

you first

dropped it, I was like, done and done.

Yeah.

So the

last round is today.

So I definitely have to
do that later, but Okay.

When y'all win, y'all gotta come back.

Oh, sorry.

Could be like, oh, we gonna win.

Award-winning.

Yeah.

So, um, but just give us, I mean,
I see too many, I see too many.

Too many women, too many black
women in the space knocking in

the flower that they deserve.

'cause we gotta compete with
everybody else, especially the men,

especially the mean girl women.

'cause there's, there's those
type of people there too.

It ain't just the men, it's just
some hating ass women in the space

that won't even allow opportunities
with other women as well.

But you know, but that's
not who I'm worried about.

If you don't wanna, if you don't wanna
collaborate with me on a woman to

woman level, I can understand that.

I can respect that.

That's just, there's just me.

It must be something about
me you not cool with.

That's fine.

But with these men, but the bigger
space, who has the power to make,

you know, smaller, harder, you
know, black content creators that

are women, you know, a uplift.

And they choose not to do that.

That's a problem.

Because if someone come, I'm not
big at all, but if someone comes

to me with an opportunity that I
can do, I will do my best to do it.

You know what I mean?

And I have done it before in the
past with my little ass numbers.

Mm-hmm.

So if my number, if your number's 10
times more than mine, then you not

doing it, then what's the problem here?

But they don't wanna hear me though.

All they see, all they see
is let's be, let's be real.

All they see is just, you know, me
being friendly, looking cute on camera

and playing video games, but they
don't, when I try to talk to them in

this manner, they just don't hear me.

And that's cool because at the
end of the day, the real ones

will always stay there no matter
what and when the real ones stay.

The i, the real ones, if
they need me, they got me.

I don't care if I got, if I could do the
best I can with what I got, the real ones

will always stick by me and I will always
stick by them at the end of the day.

Period.

You are absolutely right.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm always gonna agree with you on the
numbers thing, because you didn't even ask

me how many people listen to the podcast.

No, you didn't.

Even, you were like, yeah, I got time.

And you were even like, Hey, I know
the time difference is a bit funky.

Can we do this?

Can we do that?

You know what I mean?

Mm-hmm.

And like, it could be me, you
listening to this episode, when it

drops, it's like, hey, and you know
what, you know, it could drop and look

and, and I ain't got no problem with it.

'cause you know what?

'cause you cool with me and
you and you ask me to do this.

And I'm like, let me, let me be an adult.

Maybe me work around my schedule.

And we were cool with that.

And that's how it's supposed to be.

Yeah.

That's how it's supposed to be.

And it's not like that.

I agree with you.

It's not like that.

And I

love that.

I didn't.

I, I didn't care about who's wa
look, I don't care who's watching.

I, if, if anything, I'm having a
conversation with her that we had

to sit and catch up with y'all.

Just in the co Y'all just
in the, y'all just here.

You're just a

part of it.

Just a part of it.

We really just needed to talk real quick.

Yes.

Real quick.

And I was like, lemme
record it really quickly.

Let's make some content.

I don't have a problem with that

chitchat.

But that's the thing though.

'cause you, you in there, you've been
there, you've been there for a long time.

You did not see me for my imperfections.

You saw the potential in me that
I, at the time didn't even see.

So I will ever be forever
be grateful for that.

And so if somebody gonna let me know,
like, look, hey, I, let's do this thing.

I ain't got no problem with it.

Let me make some time.

And that's what people, and that's
what people really don't do.

At the end of the day, people really
care about my follower account or

how many people watching my stuff or.

There are gonna be people there.

Am I gonna get paid for
it and stuff like that.

I, it's, this is strictly like on some
gp I know you OG down type of thing.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Because

it could get messy when it comes to
like, how many followers you have.

Oh, is there a payment involved?

Is there contract involved?

All that shit get murky.

I'm not with it.

I'm not like that, but Yeah.

And you, you got it.

You got it.

You got that from me.

And, and that's rare because it been,
there's plenty of opportunities that

come up or, or collaborations with
people and I see how their mannerisms

are and I would decline them real quick.

But I wouldn't do that with you at all.

I would, I would, we would've made it
work even, even if we were, even if I

couldn't make it today, I would've been
like, look, let's try to make it work.

You hear it here first?

People behind grown women gaming.

Gaming for the culture is Lady
Infa infamous favorite podcast?

Yes.

I, I have, I listen to
other podcasters too.

I just know, but if I'm at the ride for
one, it's gonna be the one I I co-created.

Shit.

I, and that's been my favorite thing.

Yeah.

About being in the space is that I
get to play, I get to show nepotism

to the people that I know and
that I've had a conversation with.

Right.

I think that's my favorite part.

Anytime something's going on, I
think of out, out of, um, all the

women on grown women, women gaming,
I haven't been able to work with one.

I've worked with you and I have featured
you and I worked with El Boogie.

And I got to do that cool thing with
Al Boogie like a couple years ago.

You know?

And like, that has really been
a thing that I love to do.

I love to be like, okay, I not,
not in an arrogant way Yeah.

But I was able to put somebody
on something because I

know they're on their ish.

Yeah.

You know, like I know
that they're gonna do it.

That's my favorite part.

That's my favorite part.

Yeah.

I ain't gonna lie, the nepotism.

I, I, there were one or two times
that I did that to, for someone

I, I'd rather not say what I did.

But it's a good feeling though.

It's a good, it's a good feeling.

There was an opportunity, it was
a paid opportunity for a game

that I, I don't normally play.

So I gave it to someone that I
knew that was close to me and

she got paid, which was cool.

Mm-hmm.

Well, that made me feel
good, you know what I mean?

Um, there was opportunities that.

A, they, they wanna do this
collaboration with this company, but,

you know, it doesn't fit with me, but
it might fit with you once you go.

But that's the whole

point.

Yeah.

Because why would, why would you want
to in authenticate yourself by doing

something, you know, doesn't fit you?

You know, like, or I am
not big on Call of Duty.

Yeah.

And so, you know, when people are like,
Hey, if you wanna grow your stream, work

with somebody who has a big following.

And it's like, but like, why would I play
like Call of Duty and stuff with you guys?

And then people come to my channel and
was like, oh, Jana, we thought you played.

No, that was a one time thing.

Mm-hmm.

You know, and now I'm,
now I'm false flagging.

Yeah.

Right.

Like now, now I'm not
being true or authentic.

Yeah.

And, and not only that, if the
opportunity is not presented, if

it doesn't fit you, the person that
you're recommending this opport, that

opportunity is a reflection on you.

So I can't give, I can't be giving it
to no, nobody that's not on they shit.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I, because if they mess it up.

It looks bad on me.

Exactly.

I agree with you.

Mm-hmm.

Anything you wanna tell
the people we got all day?

I don't, I'll, I'll sit here
and talk, but is there anything

you wanna tell the people?

If you want to plug yourself again,
please do so, because I will be

including all of your information
and Grown women gaming links in

the, uh, description of the podcast.

Okay.

Um, I just wanna say thank you for,
you know, thank you for having me.

I really appreciate that.

Uh, I appreciate that you thought
of me, for me to even do this.

Um, this is one of the better
collaborations I have done because I have,

I feel I've been the most comfortable
in myself, which I do appreciate.

I wanna shout out to everybody
who's watching in the Patreon and

anybody else that's on the back end.

Y'all make sure to support.

This woman, 'cause she's a real one and
she's a og and I will vouch for her.

You can hit me up on my Twitter,
on my, um, Instagram, TikTok.

What else?

YouTube.

A lady infamous 4 1 5.

I believe we're gonna probably do a
little stream today because if I feel

cute, I'm gonna pop that camera on and
make sure you watch and support the best

thing on a Saturday Grown Woman gaming.

Every Saturday shout outs to
Delilah El Boogie Cherise,

I love you ladies.

'cause without them, without l Boogie,
Delilah and Cherise, I am, I I will

not be here talking to you right now.

They taught me more than just being a
better streamer entertainer, producer.

They also taught me how
to be a better person.

And without them, I don't know what I
would've done or what I would've been.

Or my, I really love them.

They just don't know.

And uh, and thank you for
everybody that stopped by.

Yeah.

You can't see it, but I'm smiling
like you are personally thanking me.

'cause I just think that is so sweet.

I love attitude for gratitude.

Of course.

I love some appreciation.

I think that's wonderful.

And thank y'all for sticking with her too.

Like I am, I'm also happy
that that is a thing.

Yeah.

And this concludes another
episode of Gaming for the Culture.

I have been Janae.

We have been talking to Lady
infamous, lady infamous 4 1 5

if you're trying to go find her.

And until next time y'all, please be safe
game safely, be kind, wash your hands.

And if you would like to ask
questions during the podcast.

Episode you have to connect with us
on Patreon so you can ask our guests

any type of questions you want.

As long as it's not crazy
and if they agree to answer

it, then that's pretty cool.

But that not only gets you involved
'cause I wanna hear what y'all gotta say.

That also supports me and the podcast.

And on top of all of that, I just get
to connect more with the community.

So until next time, be safe.