Hey everybody What's up This is flash talking to you And uh I'm kinda in a different place

right now because I just got through going for a walk And when I go for a walk

I don't just walk I fast walk if that makes sense So I I move my arms and I

move really fast this time I decided to just slow it up a little bit because I have this

little technique that um every third step I stretch to the left every third step

I stretch to the right and to those of you that are uh not uh seeing this video right

now Yes this is being um uh videoed So um if you can't see it just going for a

walk every third step and then turning Um and then um slightly twisting to your left

third step twisting to your right a little bit And uh I do that for like a mile It

could be a mile and a half or so around my neighborhood And um when I do that

I'm always aware that um people are gonna be looking at me in a certain way because

they don't understand what I'm doing in my mind I know what I'm doing in context to what I'm doing

I'm you know working on my core So I'm tucking my stomach in and then I'm walking and then

I'm stretching the sides So when I'm stretching the sides it's also um um helping to

tone my my um midsection So um I'm aware that it might look different and

everything and I'm out there I'm doing my thing I'm feeling good but I always have

that in the back of my head which brings me to the topic that I

want to talk about today which is body image I am on video right now as I'm podcasting And

um you know what it it I mean if it's all right but uh there's that little

part of a little part of my brain that's just like oh look at you

you know what I'm saying And um you know I'm proud of who I am I'm proud of my accomplishments

And I've gotten to a point in my life where you know my weight fluctuates and you

know sometimes I feel good sometimes I don't But um you know that that little

talk that little thing in the back of my head is something that I have to contend with

every single day So um in that regard um you know I just got the working out and

I'm a little bit tired I decided to challenge myself So um I'm in my kitchen

Usually I'm inside of my room doing doing um my podcast This is pretty cool Um

This is a different experience What I don't like about this is that um there's an echo when I'm talking

which is probably a little bit different than other um other podcasts So please bear with

me um with the echoing I like to be I like to be professional but my professionalism

is gonna be challenged at times Um If you choose to listen to this podcast

I'm going I'm planning on traveling to different places talking to different people So the background is

gonna be you know whatever way So I do my best to you know minimize you know distractions and

stuff any who body image let's see Um I'm probably like about like uh 2 72 75 somewhere around there

and um my weight fluctuates Um I've been as low as 2 61 close to

down to 2 52 59 or lower And I still have that in mind that has been a journey

and you know what I've been through in terms of me being a uh African American male um you

know the the the perception when it comes to you know losing weight and being self conscious is that

it's a female thing and it's not a female thing Um for me um I'm always aware of

it Um when I eat I'm always I'm always aware of you know what I'm putting in my

body and even though I'm aware of what I'm putting in my body you know the challenge

is to be or not to be That is the question meaning that you know

either I'm gonna eat it or I'm not gonna eat it And when it comes to unhealthy

things like chips and soda and different things like that it's hard to resist It's easy to say

hey you know what I'm gonna reward myself I've been doing pretty good I'm just gonna have a

little bit of this or I take a little bit of that and that little bit of this and

that little bit of that ends up turning into a spiral you know you start

to uh have a little something the next day and then a little something the next

day then it's like OK I'm gonna get back on board I'm not gonna I'm I'm gonna

get healthy again and you know might go for a day or two and my body

and my mind is just acting up it's triggered It's like oh oh my God OK OK

I need some sugar I need the carbs and you know eventually I end up falling

into it And uh it isn't until the past year that when I get into that

spiral I notice that I am actually you know when if I fall off I get back on

a lot a lot sooner of like a day or two or something afterwards then I you know I get

back on board or something and this is gonna be something that I have to deal

with all the time Um And right now I have a drink right now Um I don't

recommend this uh recommend this for everybody Probably not for anybody This is something that works for me uh

through uh experimentation Um inside my water I have uh garlic cinnamon uh turmeric and um honey and I

mix it all around and you know I mean um I put it inside the refrigerator it sits

in the refrigerator I I let it sit for like 34 days or something like that So

everything could really settle in there and then you know I would stir um you know get it

stirred around shake it up a little bit put it in there um for um a few hours or

something Then I just go ahead and I pour I pour my drink The reason that I

I um do this drink because um anti it's not antioxidants but it's uh antiinflammatories It's a

combination of antiinflammatories So when I uh drink it when it goes into my system especially uh the garlic

and turmeric uh it helps with my stomach It helps you know um you know get the the

um bloating out and that helps me a lot mentally Let me take a drink That helps me

a lot mentally because if I can see it it's like oh yeah it it it's

like a motivation and um it's it's from what I can tell healthy it's not endangering myself I'm

not you know dehydrating myself or I'm not at the brink of death or anything like that

I found something that that has worked for me and I like it It's it's you

know it's pretty cool and it helps me feel accomplished It makes me feel like I like I'm doing something

you know so it's very important to you know to to find something that makes you feel good that

helps you feel good and in my drink you know I got that So you know

again that thing in the back of my head is right there You know it's talking it's telling

me different things it's telling me oh man you know what you you gotta you uh uh you

gotta lose lose a little bit of weight or you know you look different or

you know oh what are people gonna think always in the in my head And that is a

part of what motivates motivates me to um to be or not to be And that ends up

being the question all the time Um I find it I find it easy to forgive myself Move forward

always move forward I have this saying uh grow forward grow forward and that's a part of my

process So this is great Um I I'm talking about this I'm uh trying something different in terms of

being in a different location Um I'm actually you know in my workout clothes I just come from working

out being in the kitchen out of all places while I'm having this conversation I'm it's like right

now I don't care Um I'm not gonna get into my head and start cleaning up and all

this kind of stuff What you see is me you know when I when I you know come

home sometimes I'm tired you know I don't want to be cleaning up and everything and

um the container that I put my drink in my I call it my contraption It's right here

and you can't see it uh through the podcast But um you know I got my

little container here sitting in the back and I haven't had a chance to do any cleaning up on

the on the uh counter Uh I have some dishes on the um on the on the counter that I

had to put away But you know what It's all good because you know just because

I don't do those things it doesn't make me less of a person This has a lot

to do with how I feel because when I'm in the when I'm in the kitchen you know

I see I see things and it's very easy to get distracted by having my drink on the counter

Um you know it reminds me hey I got II I could uh you know get my drink and you

know I could you know take in something healthy What else can I eat What you don't see um or

what you don't see is um I have uh bananas over here and I like bananas My wife went shopping

yesterday So um I have a banana that I can that I can eat after

this so that you know gets me into the rhythm and I know I got a salad

inside the refrigerator So I'm gonna go ahead and get a salad All this is for me this isn't

for anybody else I got caught in this trap where you know for losing weight you know

oh there's a wedding coming up and um I I wanna look good So you know I gotta you

know make sure that I you know I do different things and you know there was there was

a focus on how I looked but in terms of how I felt that was

a challenge This was a this was a long time ago And um it's I've been

I've been like this for for a long time It took going getting out of

my getting out of my house um going to college for me to really you know be aware of myself

And that's another story for another time I might share that with you But um this

is the thing in college it's like I could eat whatever I want Not that I couldn't do

it when I was younger But you know there there was a little bit of pre there

was some pressure in terms of what you eat being you know being healthy looking good and all

this kind of stuff But in college it wasn't like it wasn't so much like that It was like

on me you know and I've all and again I had it in the back

of my head the things that my mom would say and what people would think and I played

sports when I was younger So you know there was something about being in an environment

where people um talk about lifting weights you gotta look good and look at those six look at that

six pack and all that kind of stuff No no I college is is like I'm

on my own and I took I took on life the way that life brought it and you know

food was there If I liked it I like it If I didn't I didn't And I moved from uh

this you know skinny 130 something pound uh boy to a £200 kid within like um I guess my

evolved in noticing that and hearing that you know people notice the difference in uh my appearance It

you know it really feels that that thought So um you know this is this is this is this is

always this is always a struggle this is always going to be a struggle And um me

being inside of my uh inside of my kitchen and setting myself up for success in the

way that I have healthy things around me that I forgive myself And to a certain extent let go of

these you know ideas that other people have and shifting them to ideas that I have about myself It's

a challenge and we all I think we all have to deal with that to one degree or

another We all have that voice in the back of our head We got that person that we

remember that talked to us about different things and saying different things you know the positive things the negative things

And the question is how does that mean How does that um how does that how

does that um manifest in your life as you as you live your life It's a challenge

And I you know I like I like life I like the challenge I like being

challenged and some things I've been successful some some things I've failed but I keep on going I

grow forward I understand that you know it's not gonna be every day that I'm gonna

be looking looking good that I'm gonna be feeling good Um you know for me personally it's been

a work in progress to the point where I II I understand it's a work in progress and I

continue to go on and I do the best that I can if I forget

to uh if I forget to eat healthy I have to I have to forgive

myself I have to you know um get back on board and that fight will

always be there But you know what I'm in it I'm in it for the long haul and the

most important thing out of everything The most important thing is how I feel about myself It's one

thing to hear it It's another thing to feel it It's another thing to do it And as you

listen to this podcast as you uh look at the video my challenge to you is take it on what

what what what is it is It is it you're hearing it and it's like ok are you

hearing it And it's like you know what You got a point No You know

what I need to do something about this I wanna feel good about myself or is it gonna

be you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna do this I'm gonna be I'm gonna I'm gonna feel

good and I'm gonna do whatever and da da da da da da da whatever you choose to

do Understand please understand that you always have the ability to continue to move to continue to go forward So

grow forward with me grow forward for yourself And whenever you sit down and you think

about anything that I that I'm saying and it hits you flow with it and make it meaningful for you

Not anybody else because uh us sitting here and you know doing it because we're afraid of what

other people are gonna think what other people feel how they're gonna react We're trapping ourselves and we put

ourselves in a position where a lot and and every time in my podcast I'm mentioning about mental

health because that is a core if not the core the foundation of of um what what I'm doing

our mental health we have to deal with ourselves So if we're walking around and you know we're trying

we're trying to lose weight or we're trying to do something to ourselves we're trying to you

know make our lips bigger or cut our hair a certain way or you know um you know wear

certain clothes and all this kind of stuff You know what who are we doing

it for Are we doing it for ourselves A lot of times a lot of times I find that that

um people don't do that they forget about themselves and they end up doing it

for other people because that's where they find favor that's where they find acceptance And

if that's the case understand that ultimately you're gonna you you're gonna be in a room a dark room

or you're gonna be in a place where you're gonna be stuck with yourself your thoughts your feelings

you're gonna have to deal with yourself just like I've had to deal with myself And the result

is that I make the best choices possible for myself So good luck to you stay strong

and always grow forward See you guys

Hey everybody What's up This is flash talking to you And uh I'm kinda in a different place

right now because I just got through going for a walk And when I go for a walk

I don't just walk I fast walk if that makes sense So I I move my arms and I

move really fast this time I decided to just slow it up a little bit because I have this

little technique that um every third step I stretch to the left every third step

I stretch to the right and to those of you that are uh not uh seeing this video right

now Yes this is being um uh videoed So um if you can't see it just going for a

walk every third step and then turning Um and then um slightly twisting to your left

third step twisting to your right a little bit And uh I do that for like a mile It

could be a mile and a half or so around my neighborhood And um when I do that

I'm always aware that um people are gonna be looking at me in a certain way because

they don't understand what I'm doing in my mind I know what I'm doing in context to what I'm doing

I'm you know working on my core So I'm tucking my stomach in and then I'm walking and then

I'm stretching the sides So when I'm stretching the sides it's also um um helping to

tone my my um midsection So um I'm aware that it might look different and

everything and I'm out there I'm doing my thing I'm feeling good but I always have

that in the back of my head which brings me to the topic that I

want to talk about today which is body image I am on video right now as I'm podcasting And

um you know what it it I mean if it's all right but uh there's that little

part of a little part of my brain that's just like oh look at you

you know what I'm saying And um you know I'm proud of who I am I'm proud of my accomplishments

And I've gotten to a point in my life where you know my weight fluctuates and you

know sometimes I feel good sometimes I don't But um you know that that little

talk that little thing in the back of my head is something that I have to contend with

every single day So um in that regard um you know I just got the working out and

I'm a little bit tired I decided to challenge myself So um I'm in my kitchen

Usually I'm inside of my room doing doing um my podcast This is pretty cool Um

This is a different experience What I don't like about this is that um there's an echo when I'm talking

which is probably a little bit different than other um other podcasts So please bear with

me um with the echoing I like to be I like to be professional but my professionalism

is gonna be challenged at times Um If you choose to listen to this podcast

I'm going I'm planning on traveling to different places talking to different people So the background is

gonna be you know whatever way So I do my best to you know minimize you know distractions and

stuff any who body image let's see Um I'm probably like about like uh 2 72 75 somewhere around there

and um my weight fluctuates Um I've been as low as 2 61 close to

down to 2 52 59 or lower And I still have that in mind that has been a journey

and you know what I've been through in terms of me being a uh African American male um you

know the the the perception when it comes to you know losing weight and being self conscious is that

it's a female thing and it's not a female thing Um for me um I'm always aware of

it Um when I eat I'm always I'm always aware of you know what I'm putting in my

body and even though I'm aware of what I'm putting in my body you know the challenge

is to be or not to be That is the question meaning that you know

either I'm gonna eat it or I'm not gonna eat it And when it comes to unhealthy

things like chips and soda and different things like that it's hard to resist It's easy to say

hey you know what I'm gonna reward myself I've been doing pretty good I'm just gonna have a

little bit of this or I take a little bit of that and that little bit of this and

that little bit of that ends up turning into a spiral you know you start

to uh have a little something the next day and then a little something the next

day then it's like OK I'm gonna get back on board I'm not gonna I'm I'm gonna

get healthy again and you know might go for a day or two and my body

and my mind is just acting up it's triggered It's like oh oh my God OK OK

I need some sugar I need the carbs and you know eventually I end up falling

into it And uh it isn't until the past year that when I get into that

spiral I notice that I am actually you know when if I fall off I get back on

a lot a lot sooner of like a day or two or something afterwards then I you know I get

back on board or something and this is gonna be something that I have to deal

with all the time Um And right now I have a drink right now Um I don't

recommend this uh recommend this for everybody Probably not for anybody This is something that works for me uh

through uh experimentation Um inside my water I have uh garlic cinnamon uh turmeric and um honey and I

mix it all around and you know I mean um I put it inside the refrigerator it sits

in the refrigerator I I let it sit for like 34 days or something like that So

everything could really settle in there and then you know I would stir um you know get it

stirred around shake it up a little bit put it in there um for um a few hours or

something Then I just go ahead and I pour I pour my drink The reason that I

I um do this drink because um anti it's not antioxidants but it's uh antiinflammatories It's a

combination of antiinflammatories So when I uh drink it when it goes into my system especially uh the garlic

and turmeric uh it helps with my stomach It helps you know um you know get the the

um bloating out and that helps me a lot mentally Let me take a drink That helps me

a lot mentally because if I can see it it's like oh yeah it it it's

like a motivation and um it's it's from what I can tell healthy it's not endangering myself I'm

not you know dehydrating myself or I'm not at the brink of death or anything like that

I found something that that has worked for me and I like it It's it's you

know it's pretty cool and it helps me feel accomplished It makes me feel like I like I'm doing something

you know so it's very important to you know to to find something that makes you feel good that

helps you feel good and in my drink you know I got that So you know

again that thing in the back of my head is right there You know it's talking it's telling

me different things it's telling me oh man you know what you you gotta you uh uh you

gotta lose lose a little bit of weight or you know you look different or

you know oh what are people gonna think always in the in my head And that is a

part of what motivates motivates me to um to be or not to be And that ends up

being the question all the time Um I find it I find it easy to forgive myself Move forward

always move forward I have this saying uh grow forward grow forward and that's a part of my

process So this is great Um I I'm talking about this I'm uh trying something different in terms of

being in a different location Um I'm actually you know in my workout clothes I just come from working

out being in the kitchen out of all places while I'm having this conversation I'm it's like right

now I don't care Um I'm not gonna get into my head and start cleaning up and all

this kind of stuff What you see is me you know when I when I you know come

home sometimes I'm tired you know I don't want to be cleaning up and everything and

um the container that I put my drink in my I call it my contraption It's right here

and you can't see it uh through the podcast But um you know I got my

little container here sitting in the back and I haven't had a chance to do any cleaning up on

the on the uh counter Uh I have some dishes on the um on the on the counter that I

had to put away But you know what It's all good because you know just because

I don't do those things it doesn't make me less of a person This has a lot

to do with how I feel because when I'm in the when I'm in the kitchen you know

I see I see things and it's very easy to get distracted by having my drink on the counter

Um you know it reminds me hey I got II I could uh you know get my drink and you

know I could you know take in something healthy What else can I eat What you don't see um or

what you don't see is um I have uh bananas over here and I like bananas My wife went shopping

yesterday So um I have a banana that I can that I can eat after

this so that you know gets me into the rhythm and I know I got a salad

inside the refrigerator So I'm gonna go ahead and get a salad All this is for me this isn't

for anybody else I got caught in this trap where you know for losing weight you know

oh there's a wedding coming up and um I I wanna look good So you know I gotta you

know make sure that I you know I do different things and you know there was there was

a focus on how I looked but in terms of how I felt that was

a challenge This was a this was a long time ago And um it's I've been

I've been like this for for a long time It took going getting out of

my getting out of my house um going to college for me to really you know be aware of myself

And that's another story for another time I might share that with you But um this

is the thing in college it's like I could eat whatever I want Not that I couldn't do

it when I was younger But you know there there was a little bit of pre there

was some pressure in terms of what you eat being you know being healthy looking good and all

this kind of stuff But in college it wasn't like it wasn't so much like that It was like

on me you know and I've all and again I had it in the back

of my head the things that my mom would say and what people would think and I played

sports when I was younger So you know there was something about being in an environment

where people um talk about lifting weights you gotta look good and look at those six look at that

six pack and all that kind of stuff No no I college is is like I'm

on my own and I took I took on life the way that life brought it and you know

food was there If I liked it I like it If I didn't I didn't And I moved from uh

this you know skinny 130 something pound uh boy to a £200 kid within like um I guess my

evolved in noticing that and hearing that you know people notice the difference in uh my appearance It

you know it really feels that that thought So um you know this is this is this is this is

always this is always a struggle this is always going to be a struggle And um me

being inside of my uh inside of my kitchen and setting myself up for success in the

way that I have healthy things around me that I forgive myself And to a certain extent let go of

these you know ideas that other people have and shifting them to ideas that I have about myself It's

a challenge and we all I think we all have to deal with that to one degree or

another We all have that voice in the back of our head We got that person that we

remember that talked to us about different things and saying different things you know the positive things the negative things

And the question is how does that mean How does that um how does that how

does that um manifest in your life as you as you live your life It's a challenge

And I you know I like I like life I like the challenge I like being

challenged and some things I've been successful some some things I've failed but I keep on going I

grow forward I understand that you know it's not gonna be every day that I'm gonna

be looking looking good that I'm gonna be feeling good Um you know for me personally it's been

a work in progress to the point where I II I understand it's a work in progress and I

continue to go on and I do the best that I can if I forget

to uh if I forget to eat healthy I have to I have to forgive

myself I have to you know um get back on board and that fight will

always be there But you know what I'm in it I'm in it for the long haul and the

most important thing out of everything The most important thing is how I feel about myself It's one

thing to hear it It's another thing to feel it It's another thing to do it And as you

listen to this podcast as you uh look at the video my challenge to you is take it on what

what what what is it is It is it you're hearing it and it's like ok are you

hearing it And it's like you know what You got a point No You know

what I need to do something about this I wanna feel good about myself or is it gonna

be you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna do this I'm gonna be I'm gonna I'm gonna feel

good and I'm gonna do whatever and da da da da da da da whatever you choose to

do Understand please understand that you always have the ability to continue to move to continue to go forward So

grow forward with me grow forward for yourself And whenever you sit down and you think

about anything that I that I'm saying and it hits you flow with it and make it meaningful for you

Not anybody else because uh us sitting here and you know doing it because we're afraid of what

other people are gonna think what other people feel how they're gonna react We're trapping ourselves and we put

ourselves in a position where a lot and and every time in my podcast I'm mentioning about mental

health because that is a core if not the core the foundation of of um what what I'm doing

our mental health we have to deal with ourselves So if we're walking around and you know we're trying

we're trying to lose weight or we're trying to do something to ourselves we're trying to you

know make our lips bigger or cut our hair a certain way or you know um you know wear

certain clothes and all this kind of stuff You know what who are we doing

it for Are we doing it for ourselves A lot of times a lot of times I find that that

um people don't do that they forget about themselves and they end up doing it

for other people because that's where they find favor that's where they find acceptance And

if that's the case understand that ultimately you're gonna you you're gonna be in a room a dark room

or you're gonna be in a place where you're gonna be stuck with yourself your thoughts your feelings

you're gonna have to deal with yourself just like I've had to deal with myself And the result

is that I make the best choices possible for myself So good luck to you stay strong

and always grow forward See you guys